Today, on our way home from my niece's birthday party, we took the scenic route home. I find it amazing how a simple drive home and conjure up so many memories in my past. Moments I hadn't thought about for years.
My husband decided to take the back roads home through Morley, Hale, and Olin. The kids were sleeping and it was nice to look at the leaves in our beautiful state before all the trees are bare and the winter hits. No one wants to drive the back roads in the winter. ;)
As we hit Olin, I saw the old feed plant on the outskirts of town. I couldn't help but smile and remember the trips I made with Grandpa Stender there as a kid. Grandpa used to work at the Purina feed store in Maquoketa and had to go to Olin to get bags sometimes. If you were lucky, he would take you along. This meant a fun ride in the old feed pick-up truck, a free Pop, and helping Grandpa load the truck. As a girl, this meant that you had to prove that you could life and throw a feed sack. It was a big deal! I can remember the feed guys giving Grandpa crap and me chucking sacks. I can still smell the truck, his cup of coffee, and see him in his work gear. We would go in the morning so we could be back in time to return for lunch. I remember one day Grandma made cold-pack beef over bread. That stuff was amazing! Add some fried potatoes and BAM, a gourmet meal.
As we got closer to home, I happened to glance out the window and see the field that Dad and I went hunting in a few years back. This was the last hunting I did with him. It is a small corn field by Nashville. I remember he wanted me to go pheasant hunting. I didn't have my license, so we went and looked up my old Hunter's Education class stuff and bought me a license. We did some clay shooting first and I had to shoot this double barrel, double trigger, rifle. It was the craziest thing! He gave me so much crap because I was so nervous to shoot it. Crazy enough, I hit all the clay targets, but do you think I could hit a damn pheasant???? NO! It was a crappy hunting day, but a day I will always remember. You trying wearing coveralls that are too big and tromping around a corn field with the expert hunter laughing at you the whole time. ;)
When we got to Maquoketa, we decided that Flap Jacks would be the best option. The kids were starving and getting grumpy. We went in and got situated at a table. As we were waiting for our food, an older man came in to eat alone. He was dressed up so I assumed that he had just finished with church and probably a widower. I couldn't help but overhear his conversation with the waitress. He was so polite to her and he smiled at me. I found myself drawn to this guy in a weird way. Like he had something to say that was important. I kept entertaining the kids, who were getting even grumpier at this time. It was then that Brad tipped is whole cup of milk over on himself, the table, the diaper bag, and everywhere else. Adam and I were annoyed, but quietly wiped up the milk and tired to keep things under control in public. About that time, this man walked over to our table and said, "sometimes the craziest times are the ones you will miss the most and will remember the most." I responded, "yes," with a smile. He walked past and I was in awe. I really needed to hear that and here it was coming from a complete stranger. But it made so much sense.
This week I had a lot on my mind. I was crippled by my anger from something at school and my sadness about my first birthday without Dad. It was horrible. I have never went to bed at 5:00 p.m., but that was all I could do because crying was the only other option. My son was playing in the hall with his pig penny bank. I drug myself out in the hall because he was frustrated he couldn't get the only coin in the bank out. I shook the pig. I hit the pig on the floor. Finally, I reached my finger in and corralled the coin. I balanced it on my finger and slowly brought it out. It was a dime. I haven't found any dimes lately, but there it was. It was enough to send me over the edge, again. I let Brad have the coin and he continued to shove it in the pig to get it to play music. We did this for awhile before we snuggled at bedtime. This kid is smart. As we snuggled, I kept having tears run down my cheeks. He took my face in his hands and ran his finger down my forehead and nose and then smiled. This is what I do to him when he is sad. This made me feel horrible. My two-year-old was comforting me. Time to stop pouting and put this Mommy in time-out.
When I sit in church tomorrow, I need to do a lot of thanking. I love my little church I attend and the friends I have within it. They know me and my past. I will sit in the back with my little kids and be thankful for everything. As crazy as my week was, as many tears as I cried this week, it will be the small moments and lessons learned within this week that I will take with me and let it shape my choices in the future. Tomorrow is a new day and I can't relive today. As bad as some moments were this week, as sad as it was to remember times gone by, it is the craziest times that I will miss and do miss the most. So, I thank a stranger for reminding me of this tonight. God works in mysterious ways for sure and he sent me a reminder angel this evening when I least expected it.
