I often have thought of this poem recently by Robert Frost.
| TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, | |
| And sorry I could not travel both | |
| And be one traveler, long I stood | |
| And looked down one as far as I could | |
| To where it bent in the undergrowth; | 5 |
| Then took the other, as just as fair, | |
| And having perhaps the better claim, | |
| Because it was grassy and wanted wear; | |
| Though as for that the passing there | |
| Had worn them really about the same, | 10 |
| And both that morning equally lay | |
| In leaves no step had trodden black. | |
| Oh, I kept the first for another day! | |
| Yet knowing how way leads on to way, | |
| I doubted if I should ever come back. | 15 |
| I shall be telling this with a sigh | |
| Somewhere ages and ages hence: | |
| Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— | |
| I took the one less traveled by, | |
| And that has made all the difference. |
The crazy thing is, I get to go back and take the other road. I did take the "road less traveled" and learned a lot from this road. I learned how far I could be pushed, how much stress I can handle, and above all, I learned what is truly important in my life. This path allowed me to be close during the passing of several important people in my life and gave me a support group grounded in faith to persevere and continue.
As I begin my journey down my road, I am thankful for the time I spent on my other path and everything it taught me. I will come in handy in my new journey.
Many people have made comments about my new path and how it affects them or how hard things will be. Some have even treated me differently because they have made my decision "personal" to them. I only have one comment for them. I ask them to really reflect. Who do you live your life for? You and your family or someone else. I think the answer is very simple and easy to comprehend. I did not chose my new path for my friends or for any secret answer. I chose this path for myself. I live for me.
I have learned something in the past year. Life is short. You have to surround yourself with positive and supporting people. If you don't, you will wake up one day and realize that you are only a person of convenience. Ever have this feeling? I know I have. Breaking the news was very difficult and it was also inspiring. Thank you to the people who offered a hug, a congratulations, and then said, "I always knew you missed music in your life." Those people truly know me, support me, and love me. To the others, no worries. I took your comments in stride and will not hold them personally in my heart.
My Dad always knew I missed music. He asked me about it almost every time we would be together or I would talk about something in music. I NEVER liked to admit he was right. I wish I would have told him that. There were signs after his passing that I could not hide from anymore. Even in heaven, Dad made his presence known. I even found a dime before my interview in Bellevue on my seat in the van. I think this was a little "good luck" charm and a sign that there is a plan for me.
As my life has started to become less "cluttered" with my job, I have found a rejuvenated sense of life and a happiness I have not felt in a long time. I feel like myself. Free to be me. "And that has made all the difference."
